Bucket lists. Why do we make them? Well, quite simply because there’s things in life we want to have, and want to accomplish before we die. But what’s the point of all that traveling, purchasing, dieting, convincing that person to go to bed with you really all about anyway? To enrich our lives no doubt. It’s about self-improvement, personal growth, to be the best we can be. But what good does that list do for the rest of the world and your contribution to humanity? The square root of fuck-all, that’s what. That’s why if you really want to become a better person you’ve got to scrap the selfish endeavors of a Bucket-List, and start creating a Fuck-It list instead. See the genius of a a Fuck-It list is that it’s not about doing things. It’s about not doing things. It’s the stopping of things you currently do that (more often than not) piss others off, that take away from the world – instead of adding to it. We’re all too selfish these days anyway, and Bucket-Lists only perpetuate this. Fuck-It lists are for the betterment of you, and of those around you. It’s about giving. And so in the spirit of giving, let us help you fill that Fuck-It list with some much needed items to get you started. They’re a list of things that we all collectively want everyone to stop doing – just in case you just so happen to be one of those F*ckers that’s currently doing them.
Talking Loudly In Public
One can never know what’s truly going on in the mind of a person who thinks that everyone else in public wants to hear their conversation. Equally so can be said for the inventor of the hands-free device. Like, what were they thinking? Your conversation (you being a stranger) is private. It’s also annoying – especially when it’s one of those violent tirades people like to have in public. The entertainment of it all wears thin quick. So if you’re one of those people, just put the handset on will you and speak quietly? Thanks.
Too Much Instagramming
Yes, we’re all very aware of the need to be connected on social media. And the most social place to be these days is Instagram of course. But too much of a good thing always turns bad. If you’re one of those who’s constantly Instagramming (especially if it’s selfies), the jig is up – you’re a known narcissist to all your friends and connections. You’re there hashtaging the hell out of every post, begging for “likes”, clogging up the feeds of others who follow you for some reason. It’s annoying. You’re best to hide your narcissism by logging off more. And the added bonus will be that you’ll actually gain more productivity time so that you can actually work on something that’s truly “like” worthy.
Standing Still In Crowded Places
It’s all coming to an end, really. So do the world and its remaining years a favor by getting out of the way of people trying to get through that door. Getting out of the way of people trying to use that escalator. Getting out of the way of people who are trying to move forward in life. Getting out of the way of people trying to use that piece of equipment at the gym. And just getting out of the way in general. As the old Chinese expression goes, “you’re stopping the world from moving” by standing in the middle of a crowd of people, most likely cause you’re texting. Add this to the F*ck-It list, pronto!
Being Glued To Your Phone
Look at that picture. I mean, just look at it. We see it all the time live and in person. Like, why bother? Why go out with someone if you’re just going to be on your phone texting someone else. Go hang out with that person instead. And no, playing Pokémon Go doesn’t excuse you either. This is by far the most rude thing you can do socially, as it shows a complete lack of respect as it’s not possible to pay attention to your phone, and someone else at the exact same time. Add it to the list today,
Bragging About Your New Diet
Whether you’re starting a new exercise program or diet, ultimately, it’s really for your own benefit. Heck, forget mincing words – it’s all about you. That’s why when you tell everyone about all the gains you’ve made at the gym, or all those pounds you’ve lost on the diet – at best, you’re making everyone around you jealous and insecure. At worst, you’ll bore them to death. Add ‘exercising restrain’ to your new regiment. Thanks.
Emoji’ing Too Much
Congratulations human race. You’ve officially devolved back to the days of hieroglyphics (aka: emojis). We barely use words anymore. Just smiley faces, angry faces, poo faces, eggplants (lots of eggplants). While this makes our communication more friendly, even comical – the emotional pool is getting very shallow as there’s no depth to our conversations anymore. There’s only so much a smiley wearing shades can convey. Even if he’s paired with a middle finger emoji. Speaking of middle fingers, we suggest giving one to all that emoji’ing. Sure, you may alienate yourself from the human race – but trust us – the human race isn’t going very far.
Giving Up Things
No, we’re not trying to be ironic here. And yes, we know this list is all about giving up things… but, there’s a very pretentious movement going on where giving stuff up is the new getting. Giving up carbs, dairy, gluten for all those diet fanatics, or giving up material possessions – for all the spiritual flakes. Come on people, life is about balance – not extremes. Unless you’re allergic to dairy or Gucci handbags – keep it sane will you?